Epilogue

She awoke that morning, rejuvenated in mind, body, and spirit. She hadn’t felt this good in years. For so long she’d lived in a fog, merely going through the motions. It was like she was a puppet being maneuvered through a dreamlike sequence. She had clipped the strings, though. Now she felt alive and in control. When she’d seen the blood pouring out of Amanda Woodward’s head, it was like the blood began coursing through her own veins. Nothing had ever felt so invigorating.

“Jim will be so pleased with me,” she murmured to herself. “It won’t be long until he contacts me. He’ll be grateful that I rescued him. He loves me, not that slut Amanda. Somehow that tramp had trapped Jim, but that wasn’t what Jim wanted. He wants me.

“I owe him one, though. If it hadn’t been for Jim, where would I be? He loves me so much. Nobody has ever cared for me like Jim. I remember the way he looked at me, the tenderness that was in his eyes. He loved me even back then.”

She shivered as she recalled the way it felt to be touched by Jim.

“I’m so lucky that Jim loves me so much,” she said. “It’s no wonder that hussies like Amanda throw themselves at him. And what could he do? It wasn’t his fault that he’d fallen into Amanda’s snare; it was Amanda’s. That’s why she had to die. I had no choice.”

A feeling of euphoria washed over her as she recalled the feel of the cold steely gun in her hands, the acrid smell of gunpowder, the sound of Amanda’s body hitting the ground, the blessed sight of the blood oozing out of Amanda’s skull…

She closed her eyes and moaned. Recalling the sensory details had an almost orgasmic effect on her.

She ached for Jim. “What a reunion we’ll have!” she cried. “I wonder when he’ll find me. Nobody knows I’m here, but that won’t matter. Jim can do anything, so tracking me down won’t be a problem. No matter how far apart we’ve been, our love connects us. We have a connection so strong, so spiritual, so enduring that it goes beyond the physical realm.

“We don’t need words to communicate. He speaks to me by using gestures and phrases that were special to only us. We don’t need to talk in order for me to hear his declarations of love; I only have to watch him give an interview or see a picture of him. He never fails to send me a secret message whenever he’s photographed or taped. We have our own language of love, a language nobody else can understand.”

Her illness caused her emotions to change at breakneck speed. Her smile― a thin, angry, slash―melted into an expression of fury.

“Especially those freaking doctors!” she thundered. “They were constantly trying to cram pills down my throat, pills that sent me into a fog and deadened my senses. I hated those pill pushers and their evil drugs!”

The sadistic smile returned. “Maybe I’ll blow a few of them away like I did Amanda. I’d be doing the world a favor. And killing was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I could do it again. In fact, it might actually be fun…”

Yes, something needed to be done about those so-called medical professionals. Those quacks didn’t understand her relationship with Jim. Moreover, they didn’t even try to understand it. It didn’t fit into their little box of what constituted a “real” relationship; therefore, it wasn’t real. According to them, it was all in her head.

But what did those frigging shrinks know?! It was real!

“No, it is real!” she wailed like a wounded animal. Her teeth chattered as she clutched her head and rocked back and forth. “I love Jim, and Jim loves me! And if they don’t accept that, they’re the nutcases, not me! Not me! ”

She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Sometimes she had to do that to quiet the voices. They spoke to her loudly when people doubted her relationship with Jim. Why couldn’t people understand their love for one another?

“They’re just jealous,” she hissed. “Jim doesn’t love them the way he loves me, and they’re envious. That’s why they wouldn’t let me talk about him. They couldn’t stand hearing about someone they’d never have! Jim could love anyone, but he loves me! Me!”

That was the worst thing about the hospital. She wasn’t allowed to talk about Jim there. Any time she did, they’d stick a needle in her arm and shoot her up with some kind of medication that caused her to drift away. It didn’t help her; it just stole her soul, bit by bit. It caused her to forget about Jim as well as everything else. If she hadn’t escaped when she did, she wouldn’t have remembered her own name.

“I couldn’t let that happen,” she said, her voice airy. She’d gone from fury to wistful in less than thirty seconds. “I had to get away. And I’m so much better now! Now everything is clear to me. That’s why Jim didn’t visit me in the hospital. He couldn’t stand to see me suffer. I needed to have a clear mind so I could love him the way he deserves to be loved. But now I’m free from the fog and he’s free from Amanda, and we can finally be together!”

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she imagined Jim wrapping his arms around her, kissing her, loving her… She had been so tempted to climb into his hospital bed with him. He would’ve liked that. She could tell that he was dreaming about her. It wouldn’t be long until all their dreams came true.

“To touch him and to have him touch me back…” she murmured huskily. “It’s been so long since he’s touched me, so long since I felt his hands on me…They were rough but so gentle…And his fingers…So skilled…They were as smooth as silk when he ran them over my skin.”

The need to be with him overwhelmed her. She couldn’t go to him yet, but there was a way she could see him.

Even though her surroundings were primitive, she had electricity. With a little help from her friend, she had hooked up a gas-powered generator. It wasn’t large, but it was big enough to supply power to the confined space. She turned on her laptop as well as the portable device that provided access to the internet.

She had the links to several news providers and gossip magazines in her favorites. The media would be covering Amanda’s death, and she couldn’t wait to see what each article said. She just knew that Jim would send her a secret message.

She clicked on link after link. One site included a photograph of Amanda being zipped up in the body bag. She giggled madly as she studied the image. “Look at her! Not so beautiful now, is she? All that oozing blood caused that little slut’s hair to mat. I hope the funeral home can find a decent stylist to do something with it.”

Her laughter was maniacal. She clicked on the photo and saved it so she could look at it later. “Something to look forward to,” she crooned, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.

The good mood would not last. Her high spirits began an abrupt descent when she clicked on the link that would take her to the online version of the Post.

“ ‘The Grieving Groom-to-Be’?” she read aloud. Her hands shook as she studied the accompanying picture. Unsure if her eyes were deceiving her, she zoomed in to take a closer look. Breathing became difficult as she took in the image of the couple that had been photographed on the dance floor. The article hadn’t put a name to the face of Jim’s partner, but that didn’t matter. She instantly recognized the mystery woman.

“Trixie Belden!” she shrieked shrilly. “Nooooooo!”

If a passerby was in earshot of her lair, he would assume a banshee had stepped out of legend and into Sleepyside.

She picked up her laptop and began addressing Trixie like they were face-to-face. “You can’t have him! He’s mine! You took him from me once, but you won’t do it again! I killed that whore, and I’ll kill you, too! I hate you, Trixie Belden, I hate you!”

With inhuman strength, she hurled the laptop through a window. Glass shattered and landed at her feet, but she didn’t flinch. She stood hunched over, each breath a desperate gasp for oxygen. Her eyes bugged out, the veins in her forehead bulged, and her whole body shook. The last time she’d been this angry, someone had died.

She clenched her fists, hoping it would stop the shaking. It didn’t work. She counted to ten slowly, just as her friend had instructed her, but that didn’t help either. Tears streaming, teeth chattering, body jerking, she threw herself onto the floor and waited for the attack to pass. Glass from the shattered window cut into her, but she was oblivious to the pain. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping it would get the image of Jim and Trixie out of her mind.

After several minutes, the shaking subsided, and she was able to release the sobs that had been trapped inside. She sat upright, her arms wrapped around her knees, rocking back and forth. Like an animal caught in a trap, she wailed uncontrollably. Blood trickled from her legs and arms where the glass had cut her, but she didn’t notice. Her inner pain far surpassed anything on the physical level.

Suddenly, just as quickly as it began, it ended. The rocking stopped; the wailing ceased. Holding her breath, she strained her ears to take in the sounds around her.

She heard something.

Legs weak, she struggled to her feet. Her eyes were wide as she stumbled through her lair, searching for the husky voice she had heard.

“Jim?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “Where are you? I know you’re here. Come out, Jim.”

There was no sign of him in the tiny kitchenette or living area. Maybe he was in the bedroom.

“Jim!” she called, growing stronger by the second. “Come out! You’re safe here. We’re alone. I know you’re trying to talk to me. I’m listening to you, Jim! I’m listening!”

But Jim wasn’t in the bedroom.

Fully invigorated, she ran outside. It was freezing, but she was oblivious to the cold. The bright sunlight hurt her eyes, though. Squinting, she searched the woods surrounding her lair. The only other noise was the sound of her bare feet crunching in the snow.

“Jim, you can come out! It’s safe here! We’re alone! Nobody can keep us apart now, not even Trixie!”

Silence.

Confused, she went back inside. She knew she had heard Jim’s voice. Where was he?

I’m here, Mulberry. I’ve been here the whole time.

Mulberry! That was his pet name for her! He was speaking to her! His voice sounded exactly like she remembered.

“Jim, where are you? I can’t see you!”

You don’t need to see me to know I’m there. Just close your eyes and listen to my voice. Trust me, Mulberry.

If Jim wanted her to trust him, that’s what she would do. She closed her eyes and shut out reality. “Jim, I need you! Can’t we be together now? I miss you.”

I need you, too, Mulberry, and I want to be with you.

“Then why aren’t you here?”

It’s complicated, but I promise we’ll be together soon.

“It won’t be soon enough for me,” she whispered.

For me, either, Mulberry. I want you…

“Surely I can do something to move things along! Just tell me how I can help, Jim. I’ll do anything, anything, to be with you!”

It felt like an eternity before Jim responded.

Well, there is one thing you could do…

She intently listened as Jim told her what to do. It wouldn’t be easy, but with her friend’s help, she could manage it.

“I’ll take care of it, Jim,” she told him. “I promise!”

I believe you. If you do this, we’ll be together forever. I love you, Mulberry…

“I love you, too, Jim.”

The voice was gone. Her hope renewed, she opened her eyes. She had a lot of planning to do and a short time in which to do it. It wouldn’t be long until she and Jim were together again.

And this time, Trixie Belden wouldn’t be around to separate them.

READ THE BLOOPERS FOR THIS STORY!

This story was posted in honor of my TENTH Jixaversary! I can’t believe I’ve been a Jix Author for a decade. It’s an honor to be counted among such a talented group. I love you all!

Congratulations to the other three authors celebrating a decade this year…Pat K, Steph H, and Kaye. A special tip of my hat is given to all of you in my Blooper Reel.

Thank you so much to my lovely editors and wonderful friends, Kaye KL and Steph. I love you both and don’t know what I’d do without you!

Credits for chapter six…

THIS is the chapter I’ve been dying to write! I’ve been so excited to write this interrogation scene. It was tons of fun. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I discussed several different scenarios for the interrogation scene with some friends. This scenario worked the best for my story. Thank you to Kaye and Susan for helping me brainstorm!

Writing is always informative. I never fail to learn something new when working on a story. While working on this one, I learned that “big feeling” a phrase commonly used in West Virginia isn’t used in either Michigan or New York. In case you’re curious, “big feeling” means arrogant.

Dan’s part in this chapter wasn’t particularly long, but I enjoyed writing it. Although he and Trixie will never have a love connection in any of my universes, I love exploring the strong bond of friendship that they do have. I believe this was my chance to showcase that bond. I hope I succeeded.

It’s likely that Honey is also a consultant for the Sleepyside Police Department. However, for the sake of moving along the story, I purposely didn’t have anyone mention that fact. My reasoning for this was that Trixie didn’t really want another female in there; she merely wanted to be a pain in the butt.

Beavis and Butthead were two obnoxious cartoon characters way back in the 90’s. I never watched them. However, it is sad that spellchecker recognizes both of those names.

Bennie’s dig at Dan referenced the Mayberry PD and Barney Fife, which is of course from the Andy Griffith Show. I love me some Barney! IMCO, he’s one of the funniest characters ever portrayed on TV, and Don Knotts is a native West Virginian as well as a graduate of West Virginia University. Let’s gooooo, Mountaineers!

I had a lot of fun with the tongue-in-cheek remarks about Lucy Radcliffe. I’ve mentioned several times that both Trixie and Honey write fanfic for the series and post on the Lucy message board.

Trixie didn’t kidnap the Lindbergh baby. She just wanted me to tell y’all that.

I learned something else while writing this story. I used the phrase “said my peace” in my original draft. One of my editors suggested “said my piece.” I researched the phrase to see which one was correct. I learned both are acceptable and mean slightly different things. I decided to keep it “said my peace” since it fit the intention of the story.

In the original draft, I had the Wheelers writing checks to the SPD. Thankfully one of my editors noticed that little tidbit and told me that practice was illegal in NY. Oops. I changed the words to make things legal. Thanks, Kaye! J

I wanted to keep Trixie honest during her interview. Both she and Jim managed to answer the detectives’ questions honestly without going against the Woodwards’ request. It was a fine line, but they both maintained their integrity. Will the NYPD see it that way? Who knows?

Credits for the epilogue…

First of all, it’s very difficult writing for a serial killer. This wasn’t as creepy as I would’ve liked, but both my editors gave it their stamp of approval. Hopefully my readers won’t be too disappointed.

During the progress of this story, I’ve actually grown sympathetic towards this stalker. She obviously has a medical condition. I’ve done a lot of research and tried to portray her realistically. I am in no way mocking those with mental conditions. My heart breaks for those suffering from such problems.

In case you’re curious, no, Jim’s nickname for this character wasn’t canon. It is a creation all my own that is necessary for this storyline. More about that later…

When I first became an author, I used to post a Blooper Reel, supposed outtakes from “filming.” A few years ago, I got annoyed with all the formatting that goes along with those bloopers. However, for this special event, I thought it would be nice to include the outtakes for this story. I’m horribly out of practice, and I’m sure they suck, but I had fun thinking of them. I DID NOT have fun formatting them, and I was reminded why I quit posting them. Please check out the BLOOPER REEL for the entirety of A Person of Interest. I hope you enjoy them!